S1E2: Self-Awareness

Jan 26

Time for episode 2 for Season 1!

When did I get the courage to start unpacking my voice in such a visible way?

Well, it took a real comfort of realizing what my life is and has been non-judgmentally. And, doing a lot of self-awareness work. I have a lot to say on this topic, but in Season 1, I just want to get on the same plateau with you, my peeps building a more human-centered world…

To open and to start: I will not go into preaching “Become more self-aware!” I promise you can get that in many professional development programs, leadership retreats, and therapy. What I will put down my sombrero on, to start my soap box, is the pre-assessment of the assessment of self awareness.

In other words, if you want a more intense, expedited experience over a gentle, go-at-your-own-pace one, I would start you here:

Where are you at with your self-awareness journey?

If this question is hard to answer, then we focus on the question of readiness to do self-awareness work.

But hold up!

What does “readiness to do self awareness” look like?

I regularly come across many tips and tools to build deeper self-awareness. I love it. In this “wadding of the resources,” there have been many I’ve rejected. I’ve dismissed some for their lack of substance. I’ve judged some for being unaffordable. But, I’ve DABBLED in some that really tickle, remind me of my humility, because they put me out of mi tontera/my nonsense.

Despite such an abundance of messaging and real tools that promotes self-awareness, from a sheer volumes and how often its referenced, it’s not directly translating into a societal value, let alone a social culture of respectful understanding. Especially in 2025 when we have a new era of cultural confidence, more accurate histories of communities and a cadre of pro-people leaders with assets, education, and networks.

To ground this conversation then, self-awareness is the person who knows how they express themselves to the world and can accurately predict how they will be received, especially relationally. Bonus points and huge plus when this knowing translates into humble engagements. You show up as you and are received well because you are a good human being.

In the work I do, I’m sensitive to who is self-aware because at this point of my life, it directly translates into the people I gravitate to and repel from.

Why does this matter?

Part of finding your community is moving beyond identity labels and affiliations (like family members, graduated from the same college, etc.) as a tool to automate bondship. While offering a sense of community, when it comes to the moment of social need, it may not be enough. And people who share identities like you can sometimes feel like beings shrouded with betrayal energy.

So, you have to be careful.

Because I’m in search for my peoples, I know there is always relationship potential with everyone I come across.

This is where my voice comes HOT into play. I need to express my innermost truth to identify those who resonate with my values systems and worldviews. It is not about being combative or defending my points of view. It is about discernment.

Ask youself while make an intentional pause: Who do you know is truly similar to me?

Sees food in in the same way as me?
Practices exercise similarly to me?
Believes in spirituality in a way I resonate with?
Shares similar family values as me?
Takes on friendship with a similar set of criteria?
Has a code of conduct in engaging with others I respect?
And more….

You need to know the things that bring you satisfaction if you are ever to trust your internal compass. Having this intention means the world is now a space of navigation where YOU are grounded in what you seek. Today, everyone I meet is a potential person who I can cultivate a sense of genuine connection.

Now that this idea of self-knowing is on our radar, navigating people can be an adventure because you are more grounded in who you are.

When spirit puts me in an intentional set up, I go into this inquiry mode:

In this relationship, am I the teacher, the more empathetic one, the one pushing for self-accountability, aka the one that will leave the impression, or
Am I about to be humbled because I’m the stubborn or my conceit is literally holding me back, aka the one that will be impressed?

With self-awareness of our point-of-entry into this moment, I have to chose with grounded conviction: how will I shape this exchange?

***

Going down the road of naming my positionality in a social dynamic, you might be picking up I have a very specific angle of self-awareness, which in and of itself is an expansive sea of concepts, theories, approaches, and more.

I know what part of this sea I swim in.

Armed with this self-knowing, if we are to be in a spiritual entanglement, I will start to gauge self-awareness because this helps me get my footing. It helps me move with confidence. And with trusted patience, our journey will start.

I will applaud with respect but I will not offer premium value to:

Your ability to recall your history
Your forthcomingness to share your traumas,
Your rage and resentment of others, or
Your robust critique of social inequities

…because a person’s ability to do the above has a bigger and more instrumental role if we are to be in a partnership and/or alliance. A blog entry on this specifically pending!

But at the meet and greet level, it is my duty to understand who you are and the things you care about. It is my duty to discern, how similar are we?

A key marker of self-awareness for me is your ability to hold internal and external peace given the reality you are living right now.

It is being able to share your gratitude, in a genuine way for what your life is, right now. It is your conviction and true belief that you can guide your life to have the best possible experience possible before death/la muerte takes you back to spirit.

I say this because I made the biggest breakthroughs sitting with social cards I’ve been dealt. Understanding my social identities and lived experienced mixed in with power/privilege dynamics absolutely helped me in getting a sense of agency and self-assuredness.

But I got stuck in the rage, avoidance of my role in my life, and waiting for someone to fix my life, create one I’m content with. Once I finally learned how I looped, I recognized how this mindset and life approach has cost me a lot, especially in the relational realm because judgement > existing in each others’ presence.

When we are younger, we have more gumption to fight things we do not like, including the people who embody such ideologies, head on. The older you get though, you can either realize your immense power to influence your life and others (i.e. be in community and connection with the right people) or politely decline and go with the ebbs of flow of your life, as is, and be dissatisfied with your social network.

Now, whatever choice you come onto can be hard. I know how painful it is to constantly see prejudice, deceit, backstabbing, and discrimination as the main characters in today’s global project of modernity. It deserves a harsh critique and actions to remedy their effects.

But, in this work of social good, what is concerning me more and more is the amount of individuals (I’m talking thousands into millions) doing the work of social good and yet going into deep depression, irreversible self-sabotage, locked resentment, and vulnerable isolation.

I no longer assume if we are trying to make the world a better place, we are both doing it with integrity. I’ve meet enough with ego to learn this well. In today’s time, adopting a tool is not proof that they are in a good spiritual place. Nor, can we be in solidarity by simply recognizing the horrible situation. But, if there is one thing I’ve learned, I wish to maintain relational space if a person is locked into the misery.

I have to be careful and so does the person too. Hence the scanning of self-awareness and the self-knowing that I value people who are doing work to understand who they are to get to a more joyous life.

***

So, to the opening question: What does “readiness to do self-awareness” work look like?

I offer you three factors today. I’ve learned this in work | friend conversations turned into what-will-make-you-happy dialogues:

You have realized you literally have no more energy to invest in dread. You are drained and shriveled. You are pissed off more than woe-is-me. But, in this rage – and this is an important nuance – you can direct it at your attitude and mindset on this journey called life.
In that realization, you finally unlock your mind to start the life-long adventure of humility. It’s not a blame game of people or systems. It’s a recognition that you can literally change your mind and perspective on it to give you a better hand. To shape the future, you understand that you have to self-author what story makes or excites you given your reality today.
From that outlook, you start to look at the future more than the past, you become curious about the success and peace of other people, especially those who DO NOT share the same story as you. This is key because 1) you stop oozing onto them your chaotic energy and 2) you approach them as humans who can guide you to the goal of your ideal situation.

These core three indicators for me signal readiness for goal setting and life planning. I recognize that it is appealing to start at goals and work your way into self-awareness. You do you. To me, it doesn’t matter what is the best way for you to get to where you need to go. But it does matter if you are in the energy of guiding your life and working with others to do so.

In essence, if you adopt a more compassion, forgiving, and loving of others mindset, you will be amazed of what new realities can come into your life.

So, here is a closing exercise. Answer this question.

Who are you?

Sit with what you say and don’t say.

Cynthia Cortez